Thursday, July 28, 2011

The Forty-first Burglary-- Awful People + Dynamite

Okay, so, I'm not going to go on through this whole thing about one topic, but I have something to bitch about, what is that you may ask? well... THAT is child beauty pageants, yeah, child beauty pageants.  What does this have to do with film? nothing really, but there IS a TV show called Toddlers & Tiaras, so it's close maybe, but anyway, I think this is pretty sick.  It's one thing if the girls WANT to do it, however, there should be a line.  Too many pageant mothers tear down these little girls for not being perfect, they keep them away from other things the girls would prefer doing and dress them up to look much older than they should.  It's very wrong when the girls DON'T want to do it and the mothers force them to to live out their lives through their daughters.  On top of all of this, the kids don't even get the money a lot of the time. They are exploited and the parents can't even put the money in a college fund or something? no! they either send it on themselves or pump it into another pageant! This is wrong and fuck the people that do this, one of the things I can't stand.

ANYWAY, I'm done with my rant... on to recommendations! My movie this time is Kick Ass, the film based on the comic about a kid who ends up dressing up like a superhero, getting his ass kicked repeatedly and gets in WAY over his head.  The film isn't the greatest but it is very entertaining, and who doesn't like watching unbelievable amounts of violence and a foulmouthed little girl kill people?  That just makes for a good film.  My album is oOoOO EP from oOoOO, I'm not sure how to describe it but it's got everything from electronica to hip hop.  It's pretty awesome.

Now, back to things that are just awful, I'm going to talk about some film makers whose movies I can't stand, Jared and Jerusha Hess.  If you don't know who these people are, a mormon couple that worked on films like Napoleon Dynamite.  Jerusha being from Omaha, Nebraska and Jared from Preston, Idaho. Anyway, I find the films they make quite dull and their sense of humor awful, but let's get into some of these horrid films shall we?

First is Napoleon Dynamite (2004) which is about a very boring kid who lives out in west butt fuck nowhere, and goes through the unimportant task of getting his equally boring friend elected as student body president.  This film is so dull, has almost no sense of humor, not even a clever or dry one, and is, overall, just a horrible movie.  What doesn't help it's case is the fact that every Junior High Schooler quoted every fucking line from the film twenty thousand times (just like the way everyone over quoted 300 to death).  More or less Jon Heder does an amazing job of being dull and unfunny and everyone else in the film also does a great job at their horrible form of deadpan.  The classic ending dance scene is fairly entertaining but does not make up for this flopping, dying, boring fart of a movie.  I'm not sure why this film has such a huge cult following.  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0374900/synopsis

Next up for the couple is Nacho Libre (2006) which they co-wrote with Mike White.  This film is a mild improvement over Napoleon Dynamite.  Jack Black plays a fairly entertaining Catholic priest who wants to be a masked wrestler.  It has more of that dull deadpan sense of humor that the last film had except this time is brought with the spastic flair that Jack Black possesses and his a bit more of Mike White's humor (which isn't necessarily better).  The film is a blatant children's film and has none of the slight edge that the last had, but is a tad more funny, still not good though.  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0457510/synopsis

The last film the couple have to date didn't even make theaters, it was called Gentlemen Broncos (2009) and is about a boy who writes a sci-fi book that gest stolen by a famous author played by Jemaine Clement (from Flight of the Conchords).  I haven't seen the film and it appears to be a bit better than the last two, but if these film makers prove anything it's that this film will probably end up being as dull and lacking humor as the last ones.  I have very little hope for this film, even if it DOES have Jemaine Clement and Sam Rockwell, both of whom I enjoy. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1161418/plotsummary

Anyway, those are some things I dislike.  There are more, trust me, but that's what I have to talk about now...

To send you off well, here's an odd video... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEJu5eoAk3U&feature=related

Have fun y'all!

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