Showing posts with label Comedy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Comedy. Show all posts

Sunday, July 3, 2011

The Thirty-sixth March-- Cats... The Shit!

Okay, don't hate me but this post will not be about movies, instead it will be about this... you're welcome...

SEE THIS CAT? HIS NAME IS GIZZY...
HE'S PRETTY MUCH THE SHIT! LOOK AT HIM! HE'S A FUCKING CAT ISN'T HE? FUCK YEAH HE IS! BEING A BLACK BEAUTIFUL CAT SITTING ALL REGAL AND SHIT!  HE'S FUCKING PLAYFUL AS A MOTHERFUCKER TOO! HE WOULD KICK YOUR CAT'S ASS AND THEN BAT AT IT LIKE IT WAS A FUCKING TOY MOUSE ON A STRING! HE'S THE FUCKING MAN AND HE'S ON A FUCKING CAT TREE SO SHIT YEAH!!

AND WHAT ABOUT THIS BEAUTY, SEE HER? HER FUCKING KICK ASS NAME IS TINKERBELL (THAT'S RIGHT, FUCKING TINKER-FUCKING-BELL!)
YOU THINK SHE TAKES SHIT JUST BECAUSE HER NAME IS TINKERBELL? YOU'RE FUCKING WRONG! SHE'S A FUCKING HARD ASS WHO WILL KICK ANY MOTHERFUCKER IN THE BALLS AND PURR IN JOY! SHE LIKES LOOKING OUT FUCKING WINDOWS TOO, I THINK IT'S TO FIND MOTHERFUCKERS TO EAT ALIVE BECAUSE SHE'S A FUCKING AWESOME CAT! FUCK! LOOK AT HER FUCKING ADORABLE FACE AND TREMBLE IN TERROR!

AND WHAT ABOUT THIS FLUFFY PILE OF FUCKING AWESOME? HIS NAME IS KINO!
LOOK AT HIM LURKING IN THE SHADOWS AND SHIT! HE'LL POUNCE ON A MOTHERFUCKER AND YOU'LL LOVE IT! HE'S A TOTAL BADASS, IT DOESN'T MATTER IF HE'S SICK OR WELL, HE'LL STILL KICK ASS AND TAKE NAMES! ISN'T HE THE SHIT? LOOK AT HIM!! IF YOU SEE HIM COMING DOWN YOUR STREET YOU BETTER LOCK UP YOUR DAUGHTERS AND WIVES BECAUSE HE'S MORE OR LESS WAY MORE FUCKING AWESOME THAN YOU!! SHIT!

YOU WISH YOU HAD THESE FUCKING CATS!!

ahem...

Anyway, there's a post on cats, they belong to my girlfriend (who is awesome!) and I

So, not to jip you completely, I'll still do recommendations this post (please forgive my stupidity)...  for my album recommendation, it's going to be Lola Verses Powerman and The Moneygoround: Part 1 by The Kinks, it's a classic piece of British invasion and one of my favorite Kinks albums and then for my movie recommendation, I'm going to go with The Naked City, directed by Jules Dassin, it's a nice little piece of noir crime drama and it's in The Criterion Collection, so go listen/watch that stuff and have a good Fourth tomorrow!  See you guys later (if this post didn't lose the, like, 5 readers I have!).

Also... I have a youtube account now as Winter Chairs so if there are any stupid video I do, I'll try to put them up (I'll only broadcast it on here if they're worthwhile), but I'll also favorite some of the old early 1900s short silent films I watch so you can see them on there too!  


Wednesday, June 1, 2011

The Twenty-seventh Wound-- Copies, Pirates, Graffiti, Music and Things

So... anyone look at the box office lately? Depending on when I finish this blog post, it may be old, but the top film at the box office was The Hangover Part II.  Would I go see The Hangover Part II? the answer is no.  Why wouldn't I go see The Hangover Part II?  well, it's not just because The Hangover was so dull to me, it's not just because I have a personal distaste for modern big-budget comedies, AND it's not just because I think the only thing keeping the first film even semi-entertaining was Zach Galifianakis alone... No, it's a lot because, not only was The Hangover sub-par, but The Hangover Part II is just a copy of the first.  "Oh how can that be??!?!" you're asking, "how could he be saying this about my beloved Hangover?!?!?!"  Well look at the facts of the movie...  It involves the night before a wedding, it invloves someone getting lost and/or kidnapped, it involves gangsters and shady characters, it involves asians, it involves a search for what happened the previous night, it involves Zach Galifianakis' character spiking things with drugs and having a small companion (in this one it's a monkey instead of a baby), it even ends with them looking through the pictures of the night before and deleting them. The film even goes as far as to include Mike Tyson once again in both a cameo AND thr fact that Ed Helms has the same face tatoo. I didn't really respect the first film, I thought it got WAY too much hype and didn't deliver, but to just repeat the same things in a sequel is disgraceful (the Austin Powers films are a great example of this). Anyway, if you're not going to be clever after already not being funny, then why bother?

Okay, enough of my bitching... Onto the next topic... Now, I mentioned how The Hangover Part II was #1 on in the box office, now I'll discuss the film that was #3, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. Now I thought the first Pirates movie was decent, it wasn't too deep, but it was entertaining, it had a horror aspect and Geoffry Rush, I thought, did an excellent job playing his character. Now we're on the fourth film in the saga, however, and it's getting a bit old. The second two films were not nearly as fun as the first and after 4 shots at it, Johnny Depp's flamboyant, possibly drunk, possibly high, possibly mentally handicapped Captain Jack Sparrow is not as humorous as it used to be. The search for the Fountain of Youth is something I will probably not see, once again. These blockbuster film series' are getting warn out, and fast. The stories are hurting, the acting is suffering and the characters are just not as good the 100th time around. There's is one thing that always gets me about the Pirate movies, the one thing that I really enjoy about them, and that's the character design. I especially love it on the pirates that are either known in pirate lore (such as Davy Jones), or the pirates that were real and living people (such as Blackbeard in the newest film). That and the representations of their famous ships and the beauty of the locations are also nice. I used to be interested in pirate lore and I read pirate stories (from Treasure Island to One Piece), and I'm not the only one, they actually have a pirate magazine out,  but the stories and big blockbuster-ness of the Pirate films is really off putting and makes me not really like them, but I'm always interested in seeing what the new big pirates will look like.  So let's take a look shall we?
We have Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Barbosa, Davy Jones and Blackbeard IN THAT ORDER...

   
and I know I'm a lame ass for posting those picture, you don't have to tell me that...
On top of that, I also liked the design of the ships they used in the films too, like The Black Pearl, The Flying Dutchman and The Queen Anne's Revenge...
    


Anyway, if you put together that my title is talking about what my topics are AND the order which I'm discussing them, you may be wondering what I mean by "graffiti", well, as I mentioned in my last post, I went to Lincoln to see (and now I own) the movie Exit Through The Gift Shop, now I plan on talking a bit more about the film.  The film is about street art, but more specifically about a frenchman named Thierry Guetta, who filmed his obsession with street art and eventually became a street artist himself.  The film features street artists Banksy, Shepard Fairey, Space Invader, Monsieur AndrĂ©, and Thierry himself, who eventually takes the name Mr. Brainwash.  I rather enjoyed the film, I thought it was very interesting and comedic.  While the film the Guetta makes is questionable, Banksy ends up taking over and making a better edited films, while he sends Guetta off to create his own art show (which is depicted in the film).  According to the producers of the film, it was a long and frustrating process and they only ending up with seconds of usable film from tapes and tapes of home movies.  I would recommend this film to anyone, it's a great movie, it got incredibly high reviews and was even nominated for an Academy Award (however, people are skeptical whether it's an actual documentary or a mockumentary).  Either way, go watch the film, it's excellent.


I will leave you with this... the Hobbit movies have now been titled... here's the news... http://www.imdb.com/news/ni11204748/

Also, I generally dislike Tim Burton, but this is pretty sick, check it out, his short film Vincent...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ASHP-vgnjAw

Have a kick ass day, all of you and I hope to see you again soon, bye bye now!

Friday, May 13, 2011

The Twentieth Word-- Unlucky Bastards

Hey Hey y'all, it's Friday the 13th (not the horror movie)... and it's your unlucky day!!!  Why's that?  because I'm going to post another short comedy script for your viewing pleasure...

HERE WE GO!!


 (Open on a room full of people all talking and partying, the door opens in walks a man with long black hair, jeans, a black t-shirt.)
Ron: (in a deep gravely voice) Hey everybody
Everybody: Hey Ron!
(Ron spots a girl in the corner that he doesn’t know and moves over to her.)
Ron: (in a deep, indifferent voice) Hey, I’m Ron… who are you?
Shelley: (uninterested) Uhh… Hi, I’m Shelley…
Ron: (unchanged) So… what are you into?  I like Death Metal, and Doom Metal… and Thrash Metal and Black Metal… and Power Metal and Nu Metal… really any kind of metal… (short pause, thinking) aluminum, steel, iron… brass… nickel… PVC and various plastics… (short pause) really any building materials… brick… (Shelley leaves without Ron noticing) wood… wood’s always nice… concrete… stone, you know… (pauses to think) marble… limestone… granite… sandstone… monzonite… slate, you know… (pauses) diamond… uhhh…. (looks to where Shelley was) hey, where’d you go? (looks around and takes off)

sorry for that being so lame, I just wanted to get a post in on Friday the 13th... hate me if you want...

For some reason this interests me too... http://www.imdb.com/news/ni10551500/
apparently they're selling the car Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (it actually runs) at an auction and Dick Van Dyke was the last to drive it... and look what else they're auctioning, pretty sick!

Friday, April 29, 2011

The Seventeenth Drop-- What Happened to Comedy?

You love comedy films don't you?  Who doesn't like to sit down in front of a screen for an hour or so and get a few cheap laughs?  Well I must say that I, personally, have become disappointed with comedy in recent years.  Films like The Hangover or Superbad just don't deliver the kinds of clever laughs that a good comedy does.  They rely on language and low brow sex and drug jokes and have nearly no clever commentary or anything.  In this post, I'll try to talk about some classic comedic films and the various sub-genres of comedy and perhaps talk about some modern popular comedies.  Here we go.

Comedy can be a lot of things, it can be light hearted, it can have a message, it can have social commentary, it can be combined with almost any other kind of genre and it's one of the oldest genres of film ever.  There are tons of comedy types and I intend to let you know about them.

First is the anarchic comedy, which uses stream-of-consciousness and nonsensical humor that spoofs authority.  A lot of the action of the film focuses on non sequitur and often abandons narrative and plot for absurdity.  It uses a lot of other aspects of comedy like farce and slapstick, however, unlike like slapstick it doesn't necessarily focus on violence.  Some examples of this is Duck Soup, Sherlock, Jr, Monty Python and The Holy Grail, and Ace Ventura.

Next up is farce.  Farce uses unlikely situations and verbal humor like sexual innuendo.  It generally has a happy ending.  Films like this are The Pink Panther, Never Give a Sucker an Even Break and The Love Bug.

One of the most popular sub-genres of comedy, especially early on, is slapstick.  This is a type of comedy that draws humor from over-exaggerated violence and nonsensical activities.  There are five conventions of slapstick, pain without consequence, unrealistic situations due to editing, impossible situations, confusing zooms, and off screen sounds.  Some examples of slapstick films are Shawn of The Dead, MouseHunt, Scary Movie, nearly every Three Stooges film.  Slapstick was largely employed by the likes of Charlie Chaplin, Laurel and Hardy, The Marx Brothers, The Keystone Cops, and can also be seen in cartoons like Tom and Jerry.


Another style that is equally as popular is the "fish out of water" comedy.  This is usually where the main character finds themselves in situations where they don't really fit.  Films like these include Some Like It Hot, Big, "Crocodile" Dundee, Tootsie and most Coen Brothers films like The Big Lebowski.

A less common form is called a comedy of manners.  This is where a social group or class is satirized by a stereotypical character.  This is used a lot in mockumentaries like The Office.

Parody or spoof is another style of comedy, it satirizes, uses stereotypes, and mocks scenes of other movies and uses sarcasm.  More or less it makes fun of other things in culture.  Examples, Young Frankenstein, Scary Movie, Blazing Saddles (in fact nearly every Mel Brooks movie), Dark Star, Monty Python and The Holy Grail, UHF, or Austin Powers.


One of my favorite forms of comedy film are black comedies.  These satirize "taboo" subjects and dark subjects like death, murder, suicide, sexual relations, war, insanity, crime, or drug abuse.  A lot of the Coen Brothers' comedies are like this.  Other films that include black comedy are Arsenic and Old Lace, Dr. Strangelove: or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb, MASH, or Brazil.

The romantic comedy is about a relationship between a man and a woman (or in very few cases a man and a man/a woman and a woman) and consists of light hearted humor due to sexual tension and general interaction.  Generally the plots end with the couple getting back together after one loses the other.  This is a very common style of comedy and is generally known as a "chick flick" (but I'm sure you know that).  Films like this include Annie Hall, Pretty Woman and Love and Other Drugs.

There's also a style of comedy known as the "gross out" comedy that focuses on vulgarity, profanity, sexual humor or "toilet" humor.  It uses shock value and is generally controversial.  The films in this sub-genre are Pink Flamingos, There's Something About Mary, Animal House, American Pie, or Dumb and Dumber.

Screwball comedy is another form of comedy but is usually combined with nearly all other forms of comedy.  It generally includes quick and witty dialogue, role reversal and happy endings.  One example of this is What's Up, Doc?


There are also buddy films, that generally include two characters that either get along or do not and learn to love one another by going through odd happenings.  They also happen on the road at times, two characters that are forced to work together to get somewhere and go through ridiculous circumstances.  Films like Due Date, Road to Singapore (and all of the Road to... films), and Planes, Trains and Automobiles are all examples of this.

Now there are many transitional genres like action comedy, comedy horror, military comedy, sci-fi comedy, western comedy, dramady, and fantasy comedy.  These are all either comedy films that include other genres or other films that have aspects of comedy.

I think it is time to discuss some of the good comedy films. Films that are actually clever and comedic. Where will I get these films you might ask? Well there's this little group called the American Film Institute, they regularly release film based "best of" lists and of course they have one for the top 100 comedies, so I'll go through a few of those and talk about them.

The number one comedy film on AFI's top 100 comedy list is Some Like It Hot. The film stars Marilyn Monroe, Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtis. The film is a classic in comedy cinema, it's the beginning of the edgy comedy. It was a film that involved violence (from the mob), two men in drag (which was taboo at that time), and the sex symbol of Monroe. It popularized the use of taboos in comedy and was really clever about it, it had a lot of social commentary to it also, it went deeper than a lot of comedic films but still kept it light hearted and brought a lot of star power. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0053291/synopsis
http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi2371683353/

Number three on the list is one of my personal favorites, Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love The Bomb.  This is Stanley Kubrick's wonderfully executed commentary on nuclear warfare.  It features a wonderful performance by Peter Sellers, who plays three different roles in the film, including the zany ex-Nazi Dr. Strangelove.  The film has been called "culturally significant" and it truly is.  It has excellent comedy, one of the finest Peter Sellers performances ever, and a spot on commentary of the absurdity of nuclear warfare.  One of my favorite scenes is at the end, when all of the politicians are hiding in the bomb shelter (but I'll let you see the movie, I won't ruin the ending).
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0057012/synopsis
http://www.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi3114467609/

The fifth film on the list it The Marx Brothers' Duck Soup.  This film is a classic anarchic comedy, it has ridiculous situations, slapstick, fast paced and witty dialogue and commentary on the government, all wrapped up in a neat and humorous film complete with singing and dancing.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0023969/plotsummary

File:Singing in the rain poster.jpgFile:Harvey 1950 poster.jpgFile:ArthurDVD.jpg




Now, because I'm a good ole' chap, I'll give you the AFI's top 100 laughs list (information you could easily get on wikipedia):
1. Some Like It Hot (1959)
2. Tootsie (1982)
3. Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love The Bomb (1964)
4. Annie Hall (1977)
5. Duck Soup (1933)
6. Blazing Saddles (1974)
7. M*A*S*H* (1970)
8. It Happened On Night (1934)
9. The Graduate (1967)
10. Airplane! (1980)
11. The Producers (1968)
12. A Night at The Opera (1935)
13. Young Frankenstein (1974)
14. Bringing Up Baby (1938)
15. The Philadelphia Story (1940)
16. Singin' In The Rain (1952)
17. The Odd Couple (1968)
18. The General (1927)
19. His Girl Friday (1940)
20. The Apartment (1960)
21. A Fish Called Wanda (1988)
22. Adam's Rib (1949)
23. When Harry Met Sally... (1989)
24. Born Yesterday (1950)
25. The Gold Rush (1925)
26. Being There (1979)
27. There's Something About Mary (1998)
28. Ghostbusters (1984)
29. This Is Spinaltap (1984)
30. Arsenic and Old Lace (1944)
31. Raising Arizona (1987)
32. The Thin Man (1934)
33. Modern Times (1936)
34. Groundhog Day (1993)
35. Harvey (1950)
36. National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)
37. The Great Dictator (1940)
38. City Lights (1931)
39. Sullivan's Travels (1941)
40. It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World (1963)
41. Moonstruck (1987)
42. Big (1988)
43. American Graffiti (1973)
44. My Man Godfrey (1936)
45. Harold and Maude (1971)
46. Manhattan (1979)
47. Shampoo (1975)
48. A Shot In The Dark (1964)
49. To Be or Not To Be (1942)
50. Cat Ballou (1964)
51. The Seven Year Itch (1955)
52. Ninotchka (1939)
53. Arthur (1981)
54. The Miracle of Morgan's Creek (1944)
55. The Lady Eve (1941)
56. Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948)
57. Diner (1982)
58. It's A Gift (1934)
59. A Day at The Races (1937)
60. Topper (1937)
61. What's Up, Doc? (1972)
62. Sherlock, Jr. (1924)
63. Beverly Hills Cop (1984)
64. Broadcast News (1987)
65. Horse Feathers (1932)
66. Take The Money and Run (1969)
67. Mrs. Doubtfire (1993)
68. The Awful Truth (1937)
69.  Bananas (1971)
70. Mr. Deeds Goes to Town (1936)
71. Caddyshack (1980)
72. Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House (1948)
73. Monkey Business (1931)
74. Nine to Five (1980)
75. She Done Him Wrong (1933)
76. Victor Victoria (1982)
77. The Palm Beach Story (1942)
78. Road to Morocco (1942)
79. The Freshman (1925)
80. Sleeper (1973)
81. The Navigator (1924)
82. Private Benjamin (1980)
83. Father of The Bride (1950)
84. Lost in America (1985)
85. Dinner at Eight (1933)
86. City Slickers (1991)
87. Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982)
88. Beetlejuice (1988)
89. The Jerk (1979)
90. Woman of The Year (1942)
91. The Heartbreak Kid (1972)
92. Ball of Fire (1941)
93. Fargo (1996)
94. Auntie Mame (1958)
95. Silver Streak (1976)
96. Sons of The Desert (1933)
97. Bull Durham (1988)
98. The Court Jester (1956)
99. The Nutty Professor (1963)
100. Good Morning, Vietnam (1987)

Now, these are are only the top American comedies, it doesn't take into account the foreign comedies that are also classics.

I haven't been a fan of the current popular comedy films of the past few years.  I think they're all poorly done, don't supply NEARLY enough laughs and rely too heavily on gimmicks and "toilet" humor or sex humor.  Now, don't get me wrong, I like saying "fuck" and hearing dick jokes as much as the next guy, but comedy films today are becoming WAY too low brow, there's no depth to the comedies, they're all too straight forward.  Films like The Hangover, Knocked Up, Superbad, all rely too much on this.  They don't even do it cleverly like Kevin Smith does in his films.  Overall, modern comedies are disappointing, mindless laughs to fill seats, but hey, it works right?

Anyway, I'm done with this post, if you have a comment or disagreement, let me know.  Goodbye!

Sunday, April 10, 2011

The Ninth Song-- A Bit of Comedy

So since I haven't done anything in a day or so, here's a short comedy skit script I wrote a while ago...


(Scene opens on a tennis court, two people playing tennis and minding their own business, when from the distances we see a man approaching, he enters the court and the two tennis players stop and turn to look at him.  He’s carrying a badminton racket, is wearing a polo shirt and has a sweater tied around his neck, he has kaki shorts on and a headband and wristbands.  His hair is long and in a ponytail and he’s wearing aviator sunglasses.)
Badminton Man: (cocky) I see you bitches is enjoyin’ some badminton.
Tennis player 1: (surprised) Uhh… no… this is tenni…
Badminton Man: (interrupting) Mmm, y’all may have come here to play some badminton, but I came here to play the BADDESTminton!
(The two tennis players give each other a look that says they think Badminton man is an idiot)
Badminton Man: (cocky) Now… which one ‘a you bitches is first?
(The two tennis players look at each other again)
Tennis player 1: (indifferent, taking a step forward) yeah, sure, I’ll go.
(They begin to play tennis, start montage, the tennis player does a good job as Badminton Man runs around swinging wildly at the ball with his badminton racket as it repeatedly goes past him.  Badminton Man grows noticeably frustrated.)
Badminton Man: (out of breath but still cocky) Uhhh… Good game… one day you’ll learn to play kid… it was close… keep playin’, you’ll get there…
Tennis Player 1: (slightly confused) But, I wo…
Badminton Man: (interrupting again) now on to you! (Points his racket at the other player)
Tennis Player 2: (indifferent, shrugging) Yeah, sure, whatever…
(Another montage of Badminton man running and flailing wildly as he misses tennis balls or hits them in the wrong directions.)
Badminton Man: (extremely out of breath) Good try, good try… I… think you were better than your… bitch ass friend over there… keep practicing… you’ll get to my level one day…
Tennis Player 2: (still indifferent) Uh-huh, yeah, well it was nice meeting you I guess, but we’re gonna go…
(The two tennis players pack up their stuff and leave the courts.)
Tennis Player 1: (yelling back) See ya’ later JACK ASS!
(Badminton Man stands in the court mentally congratulating himself on a job well done, not paying attention to who is approaching.)
Unknown Person: (yelling, equally cocky) So… you think you play some BADminton eh?
(Badminton man turns and looks at the man, the tension is thick, even the two tennis players stop and turn back.  Camera does a full body pan from head to toe of this man.  He’s wearing sandals, extremely tight jeans, a black vest and aviator glasses; he has a long piece of straw sticking out of his mouth.  He’s holding his badminton racket over his shoulder.  The tennis players move up to the fence to watch the showdown.)
Unknown Person: (still cocky) Looks like I’m gonna have to send you back to Switzerland boy…
Badminton Man: (Noticeably angry, eyes squinted, close up on face) you KNOW I’m not from Switzerland… Dennis!
Dennis: (shocked, turns to angry and takes off his glasses sharply, close up on face) Mmmm… it’s on, ain’t it?
(Both walk out onto the court slowly, quick glance at the tennis players watching intently.  Dennis picks up one of the balls from the side of the court and serves… it hits the net… Badminton man then tries and it goes over but Dennis misses… many scenes of them both repeatedly missing the ball and flailing and running around wildly.)
Dennis: (suddenly, throws down his racket, triumphant) I did it! I won!
Badminton Man: (appalled) like HELL you did!
Dennis: (defensive) No way man, I totally got more points than you!
Badminton Man: Now way! (yells over to the tennis players) HEY! WHO WON?
Tennis Player 1: (yelling back) Who cares! You both suck! You’re not even playing badminton dip shit!
(Both men pause, then begin to argue over one another about how they won, eventually pushing one another and getting into a fist fight.)
Tennis Player 2: (turning to tennis player 1) I dunno about you, but I’m ready to go, these guys are idiots.
Tennis Player 1: Yes, let’s get out of here.
(The two tennis players walk away from the court leaving Badminton man and Dennis wrestling in the background.)

So if you hate it, I'm sorry, if you don't awesome... but that's all for now... good night